Suddenly, about a decade ago, when I began to notice that obese women were a) calling themselves fat, proudly, and b) walking in the streets of the major cities of our nation unambiguously dressed in tight or revealing clothes in the air, “Yes, I will wear this and wear all What I want, and I am hot, and I will be hot forever, long after your death. “I thought to myself, oh my God what? The solution is not … diet?
I began to see beautiful fat, models, and actresses in catalogs and on TV shows. I would like to see more, but I was glad to see them at all. I was still in awe of their confident beauty. I feel affection for them as well, for what they endured and still bear. Sometimes I suffocate love for them, and the idea of how I can live if I allow myself to weigh only what I weigh.
I don’t think beauty is limited to certain types of women at all. I don’t think you need to be thin to have sex or find love. I know all this but I am sorry to report that I am just skinny. My weight may have occupied 50 percent of my thinking all my life. I am on a diet now. I lost eight pounds. I want to lose 15 more.
I go to Weight Watchers every Saturday. I haven’t lost any weight last week after a week of “perfection” – which means eating a small breakfast and two reasonably large salads without cheese or nuts (and therefore sad) for lunch and dinner – and I loot heavily, 12 years old again. Yes, I was treated, a lot of it, and no, I don’t think this state of mind is “good” or even “OK.” What is impossible.
It is strange that the feelings of women about their bodies, good and bad, are related to other women, for example, if a woman has a great body, this can feel like a reprimand for everyone who has a regular body. When I watched J. Lo’s first-half demo, I thought this would turn into something in which middle-aged women would feel upset because they didn’t look that way, and they would express this anger in racist and sexual comments about her dress options and the exact shape of her body. Ji Lu’s body is innocent poor – here I think its whole purpose is just to convey Ji Lu’s consciousness through space.
I wonder how many women do not feel this to the point that they accept their bodies as much as they need to present it like everyone else has. Younger women tell me that the way they hear anxiety about weight is more expressed through the word “health”, so women say they do not eat dairy products, bread or sugar so they are not seen as self-governing, or others.